So much has changed...i'm glad i have survived to this point in my life. Im so grateful for all my friends and their support over the past 5 months. I would never have managed on my own without them and the new family i have found and they have graciously accepted me and now i am indeed a daughter to them.

I guess what i love most of all is a new beginning. Not only has the year renewed itself but the fact someone has found me. A nice gent has found me, been watching me for a while now and finally has started courting me. It is nice, and i like observing it as it happens, even if it is me. Try observing yourself one day, its not as easy as it seems.

He wants a chance with me,
he wants a chance to melt my heart of ice.
Almost like when people freeze their credit cards
in a block of ice,
thus is my heart in my chest.
I guard it,
and guard it well,
letting only my friends/family in
and keeping all the rest out,
never letting them in.

I've had to close down roads to my heart,
blow them up and bury them.
I completely control who i give access to
and no one has gained access.

He stands outside my heart,
waiting patiently,
wanting in but only on my terms
He wont push
he wont rush
he wont leave.

He pulls me into his arms and wraps me in a blanket,
Helping keep me warm for i am always cold
jokingly he says its from my heart of ice
and i smile to myself
If only he knew how close he was to the raw truth
As painful as it may be
The ice has numbed the pain for me.
I notice though with the time he spends with me
i do make him cold in the end
And he just chuckles when i bring it up and tells me he is fine.

I worry when i'm alone
If all he says is just to perfect.
He has promised me already that he won't hurt me
and any problems we'll fix right away.
He has seen something in me that he wants.
He wants a chance, no matter how small it is,
as long as the door is still open to him he wants it.
Thus i have opened a door into my heart,
on the path he is on outside my heart.

I may let him in,
but it will take alot of work on his part to melt the ice
that has covered my heart.
I'm not going to help him much
just observe him mostly and see what he is capable of.
I dont want to hurt again
but i know the future is out there and i worry
bout what will happen and the likes.
What will happen when i leave this small lil town and
he stays here?
Can we truely last?
But that is something i cant worry about now
Lets just see if he can heal a broken soul and
thaw a frozen heart.